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Letter to McSweeney's: Suggestions for Urban Dictionary



The easiest way to get published on McSweeney's Internet Tendency is to send them a letter. That's the advice I saw in a tweet by one of their editors. Not sure if it counts as a publication? But whatever. I wrote them a letter. That was sometime in spring 2015. I forgot about it until just now, when I happend to be browsing the site.

What do you know...they printed the damn thing:

From: Peter Clarke Date: Thu, Jul 23, 2015 Subject: Suggestions for Urban Dictionary

Dear McSweeney’s,

The definitions for “McSweeney” on Urban Dictionary are fittingly random, clever, and sexual. In case you ever want to add to the lexicon, here are a few suggestions:

McSweeney: While giving a speech before a large group of prudes, you carefully wriggle out of your underwear without anyone noticing. “I dare you to McSweeney at the Traditional Values Coalition tonight!”

McSweeney: A recurring nightmare involving a gigantic uniboob suffocating you to death. “I thought I was having another McSweeney, but woke up to find my cat, Lynyrd Skynyrd, sleeping on my face!”

McSweeney: A euphemism for gunt, especially applicable in the context of wedding photography. “Let’s have the bride sitting the whole time, just to guard against any hint of McSweeney.”

McSweeney: The honorary title in Jamestown, North Dakota given to any citizen who reads every western by Louis L’Amour in the public library. “It’s not Jack Schlong to you, son; from now on, the name’s McSweeney Jack Schlong.”

McSweeney: The mating call of an extraterrestrial race from the Porpoise Galaxy. Chanting the word quietly invites the Porpoisonians to use one’s soul as the vessel of alien life. “McSweeney… McSweeney… McSweeney…”

#publications #nonfiction #mcsweeneys

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